crazy, isn't it? by which i mean, yes, most things are.

my life is changed while i sit here and sip the hotel water and watch the goings on of church officials in their pursuit to make the world turn a little less crookedly on its axis. and i glance around at people whose names i've muttered to remember but have already forgotten. they've worked so hard to make their lives count for something. not to others, but for others. they've worked to feel a little less proud of themselves for being such darned good people. they work to reach down and pull up the drowning. their lives will not be commemorated on the backs of cards that fit neatly into a package of gum. they will not have their own segment on 60 minutes.

and they're thrilled to death to be here. their jaw lines are fixed and determined. now i'm standing and clapping with all my might for this man who's done more than i'll know he's done. he sits back down with the rest of us, and i wish i could go ask him what he thinks about ghandi.

it excites me to be here. i feel part of something larger than myself. i feel called to do more and be recognized less. i hope this feeling is less transient than i fear it is. i don't want to ease back into a tepid existence, complete with a half hour of tv each night.

i want to stand up to the lions of injustice and shriek with laughter at the joy in the world. i want to weep and be moved and be courageous and do almost everything without hesitation.

i want to serve my lord. show me how, lord.